Warning! Harsh Truths Ahead! Proceed with Caution!
Are you dissatisfied with any aspect of your current Life situation? Have you recently noticed any dissatisfaction (yours or other's) lurking nearby, waiting to pounce? Has anyone of late expressed dissatisfaction with or about you? If you consistently answer 'no' to these questions or simply don't understand them, WAKE UP! - Or go back to sleep and do not read any further. If you are oblivious to Life's challenges and surrounding discontent - if you have trained your mind to disavow reality - enjoy your rainbows and lollipops; what lies beneath will likely not impact your perspective.
(If you're still with me) when you ponder Life's challenges do you often verbalize vexation to others? Do you often find yourself in the middle of a group gripe or a collective clamor of discontent? And if so, does it help? No, I don't mean does it make you feel better for a little while. I mean, does it move you closer to a resolution? In the midst of these malevolent confabulations do you come to any fruitful, productive conclusions? If not - Why Not? Shouldn't that be the purpose?
- Identify a problem.
- 1a. Complain; (it is human nature after all, so go ahead).
- Propose a solution or solutions.
- Act to improve or resolve.
It is easy to identify problems and whine; steps 2 and 3 above become progressively more difficult. Granted, the outcome of actions taken may be unpredictable and a fear of the unknown is a common human characteristic, but still I believe it better to take action than to passively accept the unacceptable. And as I have gained Life experience I have more than once, in hindsight, second-guessed actions I have taken, thinking perhaps they have left me worse off.
However, this second-guessing is not only fruitless but may also be inaccurate, as I do not know with any certainty the potential outcomes of actions not taken, or of inaction. And additionally, one argument for taking action - one thing I do know - is that because I have taken action (that does not physically, unjustifiably, or inordinately harm others) my integrity is intact...
...This remains true even when the outcome is not what I had hoped.
...This remains true even when others disagree.
Outcomes are unpredictable...
Action trumps inaction...
When I take action, I am (in the moment, for the future) true to myself.
The following passage comes from the recent Pulitzer Prize winning work of fiction 'The Orphan Master's Son' by Adam Johnson. Jun Do (the orphan master's son) on his first visit to the United States is asked by an American, "Do you know what free feels like?" Here are his thoughts and comments:
"How to explain his country to her, he wondered. How to explain that leaving its confines to sail upon the Sea of Japan - that was being free. Or that as a boy, sneaking from the smelter floor for an hour to run with other boys in the slag heaps, even though there were guards everywhere, because there were guards everywhere - that was the purest freedom. ... "Are there labor camps here?" he asked. ... "No," she said. ... "Mandatory marriages, forced-criticism sessions, loudspeakers?" ... She shook her head. ... "Then I'm not sure I could ever feel free here," he said."
As this passage illustrates, if there is an extreme deficiency in an aspect of one's life, that fact intensifies even the appearance (which feels like a prominence) of its opposite, thus creating a greater appreciation and understanding of that particular quality-of-life characteristic. This is so, due to our natural tendency toward balance.
I found a wonderful definition for 'balance' as it applies to winemaking that is equally applicable to a productive individual or group dynamic:
'The degree to which all the attributes are in harmony, with none either too prominent or deficient.'
Translating this definition and the passage from 'The Orphan Master's Son' specifically to a group setting, if the prominence of one or more members of a group is overpowering, this will create a significant deficiency in one or more other members of the group, resulting in disharmony and discord; and potentially creating a greater appreciation and understanding for what is necessary to resolve the issue, at least in those suffering the deficiency. And if and when this point is reached, when our instinct leads us toward a more balanced state of affairs, I believe it is time for planning and action.
It has been a common theme throughout this site that adversity breeds learning and growth, and creates the potential for closing the gap on Truth, Wisdom, and Happiness. However, the stagnant pools of adversity inherent in inaction (while they may build some character and enhance stoical acceptance) do not encourage one to pursue Transcendental Truth. And in a group setting, it is much easier to blithely accept the adverse conditions, with an occasional expression of verbal discontent when you see everyone else wading through the same brackish, dormant, foul-smelling waters and covered with the bites and stings of the same annoying pests and vermin that thrive in this environment. Yes, this is an exaggerated depiction. Most groups are not this extreme, but looking back over my 50+ years, in every group there is (at the least) some seasonal fluctuation in insect populations.
The ultimate point of this week's post is that no matter the dynamic (individual or group) we have a natural tendency toward balance. And, if in a larger group there are overpowering elements, we tend to identify with a subgroup that is more balanced. Working within this subgroup dynamic helps us to feel better but it does not solve the larger dissatisfaction. Acting on proposed solutions to resolve though may create greater discord / dissatisfaction, but inaction will only encourage status quo. Occasionally, a stance of 'wait and hope' will see a problem get resolved, but the 'wait and hope' strategy is typically not a contributory factor; and to see a problem resolved without personally contributing to the solution is a little like winning the lottery.
I've never understood why lottery winners receive congratulations ...